Stepping out of my fear of writing.

I have wanted to write a blog or weekly newsletter for a few years now. I have a ton of ideas. I think, ok today is the day I’m going write! As I get the thought to write I freeze and my mind goes totally blank. I get a sick feeling and heaviness in my chest. What makes me think I can write? Who would ever want to read what I write? I’m no expert. I’ve even had people tell me I should write a book about my experiences dealing with a Narcissistic husband and my journey after divorce. It all sounds great, until I have to start writing.   I have  idea where to start or even how to put it all together.

My oldest daughter is an amazing writer; she has published poems, has written plays, wrote essays to get her into the best colleges and has written blogs. She tells me to just start writing. I’ll write something then have her read it for me. She says “mom, this doesn’t even sound like you, you need to write like you talk.” So, I go back and rewrite and rewrite it might take me 3 days to get something that sounds half way decent.

 What’s the BIG deal? Why can’t I put words to paper? What is wrong with me? I read other peoples posts and blogs and it seems so easy for them. Words just seem to flow from other people.   I have spent a lot of time comparing myself to other people’s writing, and then I feel bad about myself because I just CAN’T do it. OR don’t know how. Guess I’m just not creative that way. Really! What’s the matter with me and why am I making it such a BIG deal? Do I need therapy just to clear the block to writing????

 Even as I am writing this I am feeling emotional, and tears are welling up in my eyes. I just know that I am meant to write and share my experiences. The thoughts about writing just won’t leave my mind.

When Chelsee came home to visit a few weeks ago. She said “Mom you should make little videos, maybe that would be easier for you than writing; things you shared with us growing up, like how to ground yourself, pull your fragmented pieces back into your body, or how you taught us how to make headaches and pain disappear by changing it’s shape and color. What about how to make kombucha, or make homemade lotions?

That sparked an idea.  Why don’t I just share with people MY experiences of things I have found useful in my life and on my journey? Maybe something that I have learned may be useful to others. I love alternative healing. I have taken classes on; herbal medicine, essential oils, making my own lotions and potions. I have gotten certifications in Energy healing, Reiki, Tong Ren, Dowsing and the Emotion code. I have combined the things I love and the things that work into my own healing practice that I use in my business Wellness SOULutions.   I’m now learning about the importance of journaling, meditation, exercise and self-care.

Maybe others would like to know more about the things I’ve learned?

I love helping people and what better way to help them, then to share what I know and what I found has worked. I don’t need to be an expert to share. I’m not here to fix anybody, (though boy have I tried doing that in the past). That is also something I have learned, we are all here on our own journey and everyone needs to figure out their own lives. I can be here for support and offer advice when asked. I’m still figuring out my life as an empty-nester and divorcee.

I’m excited now about writing, and still a little scared.   Even writing this blog was pretty easy and the words flowed. Can’t even remember that last time that happened, actually I don’t think it’s EVER happened. Maybe writing is just for (ME), just getting things on paper and out of my head & body, so it no longer has a hold on me. If something I write helps just one person that would make me happy!  We may each have our own paths, but we can be here to support and love one another. We all need connection.

I wonder what awesomeness will come out of me putting myself out there in the world?

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